We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
