i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
When did we convert life to cartoon?
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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