It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
