I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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