Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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