I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize