maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
