He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
