dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
