I want to make a zoo with you.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize