I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
