Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
