I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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