There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
don't judge my taste in strippers
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
