It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
