She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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