a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I just want to make out with him forever
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
