I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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