Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
