My first STD was from a foam party
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Randomize
