A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
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You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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