Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
He felt like a one man threesome
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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