Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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