Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize