So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
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Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
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Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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