yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
