based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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