Me. At least after what I've been through.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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