Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
No stitches, just platelets and will power
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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