I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
being pregnant is like rehab
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Randomize
