We're like a lot better than the average bears
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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