remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
