so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize
