guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Randomize