You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
