The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
