I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
