yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
People in love make me want to vomit
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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