hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did i walk over a car last night?
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
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