I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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