Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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