I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
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