Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
