bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize
