Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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