so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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