Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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