I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
