He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
