My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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