forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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