the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I just had sex on a roof
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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