can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
